Day 20: Being sad

I was just reading this series on counselling Christians with depression. It raised many good points and issues that made me cry, because I saw myself in them so much. This week, my counsellor told me it's okay to be where I am--to just let myself be sad. That's hard: aren't Christians supposed to be joyful and happy? We've been saved from such a horrible fate!

This author pointed out that life is sad, and the world is not the way it's meant to be, so it's okay to be sad about things. (He also mentioned studies showing that mildly depressed people are the most realistic about the world, including their own strengths and weaknesses and those of others, which: Boo-yah.)

I was reading Romans 8 again last night, which I've been doing each day this week. I was really caught up in the section about suffering and freedom from it. And this is it, right? We suffer with Christ while we wait for God's creation to be redeemed:

^"18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. ¹⁹ For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. ²⁰ For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope ²¹ that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God."

I think here I can see how it's okay to be sad about the state of things. A life full of disappointments, in circumstances, in others, and in myself, is normal. But I know I have hope, that creation (and I) will be finally set free from all this sin and misery:

" ²² For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. ²³ And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. ²⁴ For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? ²⁵ But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience." (ESV)

This is so me, that bolded part--inward groaning is my hobby. And that's not necessarily okay if I dwell and ruminate on sadness and disappointment all the time. When I'm feeling blue, I need to remind myself that I'll never be disappointed with God, because I have to believe that God will keep His promises. Redemption and freedom are on their way; just be patient and wait a little bit longer.

Now, I know all this rationally, but sadness is not always rational. So I guess that's part of what I'm working on as part of this project. I'm tired of being sad; it really drains you. I know how energetic and good I felt on antidepressants, but I want to fix the problem, not use a Bandaid. I'm hoping that soon I'll be able to be realistic but joyful--finding joy despite sorrow.